Posts tagged reflection

Photo 21
Notes
Posted 7 months ago
I didn’t want to write about you. but here you are again. please, this time just turn me away even if I fight. its a tragedy to think you belong to me. Zoom

I didn’t want to write about you.

but here you are again. please,

this time just turn me away

even if I fight.

its a tragedy to think you belong to me.

Photo
Posted 1 year ago
morning text on Flickr. Zoom

morning text on Flickr.

Text
Posted 1 year ago

inevitable


there is no turning back now, not after all that i have accomplished in a short amount of time. this is the most productive i have been in what feels like ever. i write everyday whether its a blog post or in my journal doing my best to thoroughly log every thought and feeling because telling you was like talking to walls. all this time i forgot that my journal was my real confidante. there open pages blank to hear me without judgment without ridicule. its been a long while since i read anything but i am reading three books at once and have recently downloaded max richter to accompany my reading. because i think in pictures this has enhanced my reading time making it more cinematic. i am working on getting my passport so that i can take short trips and the way things look around here i may one day leave without the slightest desire to return. i find my pockets of solitude daily at some point but i am feeling that i am ready for something completely out of my ordinary. everything that has happened over the last year is starting to make sense and is coming forward for some examination. with you i spent much time avoiding how i really thought about things i was oblivious to my dissatisfaction. with this examination comes a sort of clarity that puts lost parts together again; a recognition that allows me to have a breath or two even with the tears. through this my heart is breaking but i guess i am built for it now although wilting with every second. i sleep more but there are more unsettling dreams and the hurting increases. i have spent a long time being naive, i spent a long time convincing myself that things were alright as they were. i spent a lot of time caring for you the best way i knew. i spent much energy giving myself away it was just a matter of time that you would walk away with an aspect of me.